A Letter to My Son – Jamaica Mother’s Day

Dear Friends,

It has taken me a long time to write this letter and now that it is written (on Jamaica Mother’s Day my native country).

I feel shy and even uncertain about whether I should dare share my thoughts about Mother’s Day with you all. You are my loyal friends who have been with me and there for me during this impossibly painful and unwelcome journey – a journey which I never knew could overwhelm me and crush me to the core – and as Mother’s Day approaches break my heart once more with its unimaginable and unwanted grief.

I hesitated so much when writing this. But all my life I have believed that honesty, humility, and kindness are the values by which we should all live by. And these are the very values which I raised my children and urge all children to strive to achieve and to stand up for, as they leave their mother’s care and begin their own journey in life to become young people, adults, parents, and leaders.

But as it’s Mother’s Day, please indulge me and allow me to share with you this letter to my innocent son, my beautiful boy, my loving and much-loved child Nicholas:

To my child
Mommy knows that you are in God’s care and one day we shall meet again – even though I can no longer hold you, touch you or cradle you in my arms.
Mommy prays for the boy who took you from me and ripped my heart out and plunged me into such depths of despair.
Mommy knows that 13 August is the day when your friends and neighbours will remember you, when they will pray and celebrate the 25 years God gave you to me.

But today is Mother’s Day, mommy will miss you more than she ever thought was possible as she waits for your hugs, kisses, your cheeky smile and that hot milo you normally have in the kitchen when you’re having our chats. I know this will never come, nor the words I would love to hear you say:

‘I Love You Mommy, Happy Mother’s Day’.

I created this Project to remember and celebrate my son’s life – The Nicholas Stewart Project (NSP).
This project is my Tribute to my beloved son Nicholas – you are always in my thoughts, prayers and forever in my heart.

Jennifer Beckford
Nicholas Stewart Project
Walking in-Peace, Hope and Love

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